number six - the firing of a friend
Funny, when I used to be in management, there would be times that I knew in my heart I would have to let someone go. They just would not be right for the job. I had a friend who really needed a job, so I tried to help out. But as I have learned from Judge Judy, "no good deed goes unpunished." He was not able to get along with the team, said all the wrong things, was an outsider never able to find the door. Oh, plus he smelled funny, which did not help his case. I was the one who brought him aboard so I had to be the one to let him go. I looked passed all his short comings as long as I could. I had to be honest to him, treat him like a man and be truthful. It is not easy to fire a friend, because that is the end of the friendship.
Now I feel like I am in the same boat. All the people involved have changed, even the reasons. I met CJ a few months ago. We became friends over beers. Soon I started to work at the bar where we met. The friendship was easy, just bar friends, but things in life never stay easy. He would tell me all his problems with his boyfriend and I would tell him how it looks from the outside. How I would handle things. As a single guy, it is easy to walk away. But when you live with someone you end up sharing things...more on this later. CJ is a very hard working person. He works two full time jobs. Good for him, that is something I no longer want to do. I have asked him, that to me, it is almost like he is hiding from something. He does fine in his work world, both of them. As far as personal life, well, there are many short comings.
One of his jobs is as a police officer. He tells me time and again not to tell people that he is a cop. Which is fine with me, I really do not care. But he would make a horrible under cover officer, why, because he is always telling everyone he is a cop. He does not know when to keep his mouth shut. Case in point: he tells me his problems with his boyfriend and I tell him what I think about things. Well, I have found out that he goes back and tell his guy everything! Which is fine, they are together, but do not paint everything so bad and than set me up to be the asshole. Also, I am the same person all the time. I do not change my standard to fit in with others. People who think of CJ as a friend will say things like "I am going to powder my nose" which means they are going to be blow. So, as soon as the person walks away, he states to anyone who can hear him "I do not know who they think they are...I am a cop!" That gets me so mad, he needs to just tell the person "hey, do not say that in front of me blah blah blah". But no, he wants to look like big man cop. That is fine, but it cheapens the fact that you are one and just make noise about someone's drug use. Actions mean more than words.
As a bartender, my friends hang out with me. I am very lucky to be able to have them at my side while I work. Before I knew what was going on, CJ started to sleep with some of my friends. The numbers never really got that high, but I felt like I was being used. It just did not sit well with me, as he would hit on friend after friend, a few would even comment on it. I asked him please not to use me as a sex service. He has even started to tell me, if his boyfriend asks, he was not at the bar.
Last night was the last straw that broke the bartender's back. I was told that last night was someone's birthday. Eric is a really nice guy, not a lot of friends. I knew it would mean so much if a ton of people wished him happy birthday. So, a group of us waited for him and at first sight wished him happy birthday. The smile on his face was so sweet, I could tell he for a moment felt special. Well, just for a moment, CJ said to Eric "Yeah, so and so told us to do this for you!" The smile was gone as soon as the words were stated. Well, for me that was it, the alarm went off, I was done cooking. I walked over to CJ and could not stop myself. "Why the hell do you have to ruin everything, you know sometimes people do not need to know the why's and the how's." It was a little louder than that, and maybe a few off colored words were used...well, more than a few.
I feel bad for the words that I used and the meaning behind them. That is not how to treat a friend. I have looked passed all his short comings as long as I could. I have to be honest to him, treat him like a man and be truthful. It is not easy to fire a friend, because that is the end of the friendship.